Friday, January 09, 2009

The Rest of the Governor's press conference

The rest of Rod's press conference..

Now I would like to introduce James Smith, Robert Wells and Bill Jones you will notice they are all wearing prison jumpsuits. The reason they are still wearing jumpsuits is because I didn't get around to their clemency requests because I don't want to appear to be soft on crime. So like almost 2,000 other prisoners they wait for me to make a decision...

Next is Bill Smith, Mr Smith served our county with honor for 5 years in the US Army, when he returned home he interviewed for an open position within a state department. He was our highest rated candidate but alas since he is not connected we decided to open the job in Henry county instead of Cook county so we could give it to the person we wanted to give it to instead of the person who state law said should get it.

Then there is William Edwards, Mr. Edwards worked at a state facility I planned on reopening. But even though I had an agreement with a state representative about finding a new use for the facility I decided to say the heck with that and did what I planned to want to do anyway.

Finally, I would like to introduce Tina Jones. Tina made a request to my office but made the mistake of including a letter from someone in the state senate whom I had a disagreement with. So without so much as thinking about what she was asking for, I had her request tossed into the garbage.

I could introduce you to a whole host of people and entities who have been completely jerked over because of my inability to govern but I would rather recite some more poetry but I have a simple quote that sums up my administration

Larry McMurtry, ‘Lonesome Dove’

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

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